Thanks for the Memories
“I can’t believe you gave up your weekend to do that! Whatever were you thinking?” That’s been the typical response I’ve heard when I share that I spent this past weekend with 66 eighth graders on a tour of Washington, DC. The general public does not always have a positive picture of young adolescents as they are often portrayed in the media as rude, self-centered, and uncaring. And while at times that’s true, they can also be very caring, compassionate, and concerned – and hanging out with the kids over the weekend confirmed this and reminded me why I continue to work on behalf of this age group.
For someone who worked directly with students for more than thirty years, I’ve found it harder than I thought to be away from them on a daily basis – that’s why I jumped at the opportunity when a friend said he was bringing a group of students from his school to visit the capitol. A few observations that serve as good reminders for all of us:
Adult relationships are important to young adolescents. As I watched the students interact with the chaperones, I was reminded how much middle level students crave approval from adults they care about (even if they don’t always show it at all times!). And the key to developing this type of relationship is mutual respect. Students responded favorably because they knew the adults with them truly cared about them and had their best interests at heart.
Kids will be kids because they’re kids. These were typical middle school students with typical middle school behaviors. There was the requisite amount of pushing, shoving, teasing, giggling at the wrong time, leaving items behind, etc. But as we look at these types of behaviors, they are examples of students behaving irresponsibly because they are young adolescents – not acts of defiance. As we deal with student behavior, it’s important to recognize the difference and respond accordingly - and the adults with this group modeled this beautifully.
Students respond to adults who genuinely enjoy being with them. The kids obviously enjoyed being with the adults who came with them on the trip, but I was a complete stranger to these students – yet once we got past the “Who exactly are you and why are you with us?” they accepted me as one of the group and quickly responded to my admonitions to settle down, pay attention, stop talking and listen, etc. I was even privileged to share in conversations regarding makeup consultation, romantic break-ups, concerns about appearances, and worries about family members serving in the military. Originally, I was only going to be with them on Saturday, but couldn’t resist the invitations to “please come back and be with us tomorrow!”
Students rise to the level of expectations. It’s not an easy task for four adults to supervise sixty-six students in a big city and it was obvious that much prep work had taken place prior to the visit. Many places in DC call for a quiet, respectful atmosphere and the students responded accordingly – perhaps my favorite example was the visit to Arlington National Cemetery. After the changing of the guard ceremony, the trip organizer had arranged for the school to lay a wreath at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier. Two representatives from the school walked through the crowd and placed the wreath as a solider played “Taps”. It was a beautiful fall day and the ceremony takes place high on a hill overlooking the city -- as I watched the students silently and respectfully taking this in, tears came to my eyes.
As middle level leaders, we are held responsible for the academic achievement of our students – and we should be. But we must never lose sight that we are also responsible for educating the whole child. Not everyone can bring a group to DC, but everyone can find ways to build personal connections with students and give them educational experiences that will live in their memories. To principal Doug Lowery, teachers Jim Hume, Linnet Knight, and Donna Long, the students of Memorial Middle School in Hilliard, Ohio, and even to “Uncle Joe” (the bus driver) – thanks for the memories!
